>> Friday, May 15, 2009
If you noticed, in my last posting I signed off by saying “don’t judge me before you know me”. Likewise in my profile, I stated “judge me only if you know me, otherwise keep mum”. These 2 phrases were coined by me for a reason. Most of us would have heard the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover”. All three phrases, albeit in different words, mean almost the same. Its a matter of language gymnastics.
In today’s “dog eat dog world”, everybody seems to have something to say about the person sitting next to him. Is it really necessary to pry into someone else’s life, just for the sake of it? Have we got nothing better to do? Why do we talk about other people’s backyard, when ours itself is dirty? Why judge a person when we cannot accept others judging us?
There are times when a judgment passed against another person can backfire. So why take the risk?
Just for the sake of mentioning. About a month ago, a friend of mine told me that there is a story being passed about me, by a resident in my Taman, that the way she looks at it, I am the poorest lawyer she has ever seen.
Fine with me – but where does it hurt her? Did she check my bank balance before making the statement? How does she know that I am the “most poor”? Is it because I live a modest life? Is it because I live in a small rented house and drive a 5 years old Wira? What right has she to make the statement? In other words, what right has she to pass judgment on me, when she hardly knows me, or shall I say, don't even know me?
I told my friend that the statement does not matter to me. In fact I am glad that in the sight of some people I am poor but amongst those who know me, they know my financial standing. Did the Prophet (pbuh) not say, don’t live a lavish life? Is it wrong if I elect to practice the sunnah?
I must confess that I am not rich but neither am I poor. My family and I live a happy life and my only daughter gets what she wants.
It so happened that a week after the judgment was passed on me, I bought a BMW 328i. No … I did not buy the BMW because I was hurt. In fact I did not even know there was this story about me being mongered. I bought the BMW as early preparation for my daughter who will be going off to Kuala Lumpur to study next year. She told me that she wanted to drive a BMW to college and so I bought her one. I saw the price was reasonable, so I took it home.
My buying the BMW was the reason why my friend told me the story about the gossip being mongered. My friend was having a good laugh since my timing was perfect. I thought otherwise.
Had I known about the gossip, I would not have bought the BMW, lest I be accused of trying to negate the gossip. But again, my response was - who cares. I live not for others but for my family and me.
After I had purchased the BMW, my friend’s missus had to add insult to injury, by telling this gossiper that I will soon be shifting from my rented house to my banglo which is now pending approval of plans. She told her that it is only a matter of time the contractors will start on the building. And to put the final nail into the gossiper's coffin, my friend's missus also told her that she was shocked when she saw how huge and beautiful my house is going to be.
After hearing that, both husband and wife, now try, as much as possible to avoid me. I suppose they feel wrong and guilty in making the negative judgment. Perhaps they realized now that they should not have made the judgment against me.
The moral of the story – is it worth judging someone you don’t know to the extent that you fear even going out of your own house just in case you bump into the person you tried to smear? I don’t think it is worth its while. So stop gossiping.
Why don’t we just take care of our own backyard instead of taking care of our neighbour’s …